“It’s mother’s white gold. Second only to unvaccinated sperm, un-vaxxed breastmilk is shooting up the commodity charts!” says Natalie de La Fontaine of local nursery GoodMilk.
“The only thing our customers want is pre-Covid and certified unvaccinated breastmilk. Our phones are ringing off the hook!”
The Poisoned Breast?
“Smart mothers don’t feed post-jab milk to their babies. They’ve heard the horror stories of the shedding that occurs after the mRNA shots. What could be more revolting than mommy getting jabbed and dripping poison into her newborn’s mouth, right from her own breast?!”
Is there anything else contributing to increased demand?
“Colostrum from mother’s breastmilk is the primary vector of a newborn’s immune system, which is not fully formed for many months after birth. Our customers want their babies to have the highest quality meals right from the start. Also, unvaccinated mothers tend to have higher IQs, logical thinking skills, and independent thought. We know these attributes aren’t transmissible through breastmilk, but it can’t hurt.”
“Un-vaxxed mothers tend to be among the most fertile and often have many mouths to feed. Therefore, we’re offering them incentives to come in regularly. Their milk is the primary transmission of life-long immunity to the next generation. When mothers realize the value of their un-vaxxed breastmilk is on a par with gold, the enticements of UBI, unemployment, and other state handouts become less alluring.”
“Here at GoodMilk, we’re determined to foster the next generation with unblemished Mother’s Milk of the highest quality!”
4 Comments
Go figure!!
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