“We are proud to announce the eligibility of all Covid–19 jab recipients to purchase exclusive shares in the national ‘Bridge to Nowhere’ Project,” shared BTN spokesperson Noh Pointe.
A Perfect Match
Sun: Why are you limiting share ownership to recipients of the Covid–19 jab?
BTN: The mindset of jab recipients is a perfect fit for BTN ownership. The project is experimental, solves no apparent problem, is made from unknown materials, is unlikely to reproduce, and goes precisely nowhere.
Sun: Are there any other characteristics for “Bridges to Nowhere” that fit the covid-jab recipient profile?
Yes, jab recipients have complete trust in the powers that be. They are also entirely on board without reading a single document about the project. From a marketing point of view, they are inclined to tell everyone they meet about the project whether they want to hear about it or not. In many cases, jab recipients will even take steps to cancel those who do not support the project.
Sun: How would they cancel a person who doesn’t want to build an expensive bridge with no function or payback to the community?
BTN: Once the bridge is made into an icon, you’d be surprised how easy it is. For example, you could get the ball rolling by painting rainbow colors on the side of the bridge. You may then claim a sex-related phobia for those who don’t fall on their knees and worship the bridge.
How Many Bridges?
Sun: How many bridges are you proposing to build?
BTN: This is a 100% inclusive project. Every city with a population of 10 or greater may have its own BTN project.
Sun: What land areas will the bridges connect?
BTN: Ideally, none whatsoever. Bridges to nowhere are best when they connect nothing and lead to nowhere.
Sun: What if a community really needs a bridge?
BTN: There is no requirement for the bridge in your community to connect to anything. However, if your community has an actual need for a bridge, then we still encourage participation.
Too Pointless to Fail
Sun: What happens if a local BTN project fails?
BTN: If you’re familiar with Bastiat’s broken-window fallacy, you’d know there is no such thing as a failed BTN. Bridges cost a lot of money, and that means lots of business for local providers. Lots of business means lots of profits and wages that may be taxed. Everyone wins.
Sun: But couldn’t a community could accomplish the same thing by fixing or maintaining their existing infrastructure? Or better yet, developing a new product or service that improves the quality of life for everyone?
BTN: This kind of thinking is left out of our marketing literature and would make one ineligible to receive BTN funds.
Sun: But isn’t this a threat to remove funds that don’t yet exist?
BTN: Just fair warning to community spokespersons who might think this way.
Unity without Purpose
Sun: Any parting thoughts or benefits you’d like to share about Bridge to Nowhere projects?
BTN: Yes. One of the intangible benefits of BTN’s is the unity they bring to the community. When everyone is working together to build something, it brings people together for a common purpose.
Sun: Even for a common purpose that has no meaning?
BTN: Purpose is a subjective judgment. With so much money at stake, the primary stakeholders may assign provisional purposes consistent with their need to exist.
