Doctors who swear allegiance with the new Hippocratic oath may “blow dart” patients with impunity.
Blowgun Delivery System
Blowguns have a long history as a delivery system for bypassing patient resistance. Whether it be elephant-sized patients, fast-running cheetahs, or a bunch of Australians who jump away from needles like kangaroos, blowguns are the answer.
First Do No Harm to Profitable Drugs
The new 2021 oath asks physicians to “First do no harm to profitable drugs, eliminate personal biases, combat disinformation, improve health literacy, and serve minorities and other underserved groups in society.”
In practice, this frees up our doctors to forget about their medical training, pay back their student loans and mortgages, and keep our sponsored scientific literature in their waiting rooms. They’re also encouraged to target groups least likely to argue with them over untested drugs. All while steering them clear of cognitive dissonance and legal problems.
Anything Safe for Profits
The new oath covers all meds for which the AMA won’t revoke a doctor’s license. Since revocations are usually for natural meds, Darts dipped in most poisons are fine.
Natural is Dangerous; Poison is Safe
Think of it this way: the money is in disease, not health. A healthy population generates no profits. But a diseased population is a gold mine!
Natural substances are great for human health but dangerous to pharmaceutical profits. And the AMA survives on drug profits which only come from patentable drugs.
Patients who don’t understand this logic can now be blow-darted with impunity. Our new oath ensures there are no psychological or legal ramifications for the doctors.
