“Died Suddenly” Trending as #1 Web Search to Find Lost Friends

Starting in 2021, the best way to find lost friends and old college roommates is to search the web using the phrase “died suddenly.”

Obituaries Don’t Work Anymore

Obituaries don’t work anymore because most people don’t write whole sentences. Anything over ten words makes people freak out. I mean, when you’re grieving, who wants the pressure of having to write a freaking essay?

No Social Media Updates from the Dead

Facebook usually doesn’t work because the person you’re searching for is dead. A dead person won’t update their Facebook, Instagram, or Twitter accounts telling you about their latest activities and locations.

If your friend is dead and their social media accounts are still being updated, that’s just creepy. When that happens, it’s probably best not to tell anyone. If you do, you’ll be called a conspiracy theorist, and you’ll have to defend yourself rather than keep searching for your friend.

Causes of Death

“Died Suddenly” is an effective search phrase in 2021 because people are doing their civic duty by taking the clot-shot. If you’re able to find a friend by searching for “died suddenly,” you know right away that they were a good person and cared about others.

Death Certificate Workaround

Another reason a web search for “died suddenly” works well is that hospitals don’t count clot-shot deaths as jab-related if the person dies within 14 days of the shot. Therefore, any search term related to the jab won’t work.

Since most jab deaths happen in less than two weeks, the death certificate will show the cause of death as something obvious like “Failure To Thrive,” “Respiratory Failure,” or “Multi-Organ Failure.” These phrases are no more revealing than saying, “The Patient Died.” But doctors can still inform the family that their loved one “died suddenly” without jeopardizing their kickbacks from the state for making the numbers look good for big pharma.

A Ready-made Catalogue

When the family tells everyone their loved one “died suddenly,” it makes it into the search engines. Once your friend is uploaded, you can easily find them. It also makes for a ready-made catalog of clot-shot deaths for posterity. All you have to do to see them all is to go to your favorite search engine, type “died suddenly” into the search box, and then click on “images” to see all the pictures.