In a brave move to save Christmas, smart shoppers have taken to the beach. The beach puts the container ships anchored off the coast within reach. With new docks built for direct access, shoppers cut out all middlemen and browse colorful containers directly for their presents.
New Docks Accommodate Thousands per Day
Since the US has embargoed itself to keep the great reset on schedule, shoppers had to get creative. They saw the photos in the news showing all those colorful container ships offshore. One thing led to another, and the access dock was completed last week. By the time Black Friday comes around, we’ll have facilities to accommodate thousands of shoppers every day.
Supply Chain Problem Solved!
Good old American ingenuity has thwarted the US embargo, saved Christmas, and brought the broken supply chain back online!
Spirits are higher than usual at the beaches. Hundreds of new mobile businesses are springing up to capture the spirit while serving every possible need of the recent flood of shoppers. Food trucks, concession stands, re-sale of broken containers, umbrellas, beach towels, etc.
Paddle Boats, Not Tenders or Dingys
In another move to thwart the cosmic powers over this present darkness, paddle-boats will be used instead of dingy’s and other tenders. Paddle boats are not yet subject to covid passport rules, a likely first assault on the new beach ports.
Santa’s Supply Base Moved to Florida
Following on the heels of the newly created beach ports, Santa has moved his supply base to Florida. With Florida as his US port of origin, Santa won’t be required to wear a mask while delivering toys. He’ll also be exempt from participating in a medical experiment he doesn’t think is worth the risk.
“Mrs. Claus, the elves, and I have been just fine. In fact, we achieved herd immunity at the North Pole even before the Amish in March of last year. Even if we hadn’t, why would we trust lying pharmaceutical companies when the maximum downside is a 0.001% chance of catching a cold?!!”
“Merry Christmas!!!”
