A new line of first responder Halloween costumes is expected to terrorize the nation in another round of heroes to zeros.
Police, Firefighters, Nurses, Doctors, Astronauts, and Army Soldiers may not seem scary. But Karens and Kens are melting at the sight of patches that read “My Body, My Choice” attached to a nurse costume. Even worse, police and firefighter costumes with large “Let’s Go Brandon” patches sewn into their pant legs.
Removing all doubt about where these costumes stand on the issues, most of their hats and breast pockets have “Don’t Shed on Me” patches with the rattlesnake from the Gadsen flag of the American Revolution.
The Sun asked a local Karen for comment: “You’d think these kids would have the decency of putting a health pass movement license in the front pockets. But when we look for them, all we see are “Don’t Shed on Me” or “Trump Won” patches. No way we’re giving candy to these little terrorists!”
Latvian Nurse Triggers the Trend
Ever since they tore down that nurse statue in Latvia and fired all those police, it’s been crazy around here. We were going to offer a white nurse costume with large red writing that said, “Fire the Bitch” but we thought that was pushing it too far.
Scary-dashery Shop Selling Out
The owner of a local costume shop, Scary-dashery, told the Sun:
“All the kids buying these costumes look like they came from church or prep school. They look like they just walked out of a 1950’s black and white TV show or movie set. Not really what you’d think of as being very scary. It’s the messaging on their costumes that’s triggering everyone.
We can’t keep them on the shelf.”
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