Playing a Trump card means winning in Vegas. But on the Scottish Isle of Lewis, it means winning the biggest game of all!
Trump’s mother, Mary Anne MacLeod, was the youngest of 10 children born to a fisherman in the village of Tong. The village of Tong is on the Scottish Isle of Lewis, where the spoken language is Scottish-Gaelic.
The word for Trump in Gaelic is “mámh,” which means Games. However, unlike the phrase “Trump Card,” which is synonymous with winning a game, the word mámh invokes a Savior, say republican etymologists.
Etymologist Frank Lloyd Smite celebrated his recent insights with the Sun:
“You’re not just winning when you say mámh in Gaelic. You’re invoking the name of an ancient Celtic savior known as Trump. Trump was considered so holy that his name could not even be spoken. Therefore, the word mámh was created to refer to the game Trump was winning. And that game is the biggest game of all!”
Bloodline of the Mother?
Why do we refer to the bloodline of Trump’s mother rather than that of his father? Theologians familiar with the New Testament would recognize the pattern.
One of the prophecies about Jesus is that he would be a direct descendant of David. Therefore, if Satan meant to harm the coming messiah, he would only need to monitor David’s descendants through the male lineage as was the custom of the Israelites. But God fooled Satan by having him come through the Virgin Mary. God was Jesus’ father, not Joseph. And Mary was Jesus’ mother, a direct bloodline descendant of David in fulfillment of scripture.
One of the lies of Trump’s father, Fred, is that he was from Sweden, not Germany. Fred lied to ensure he did not jeopardize lucrative ventures with Jewish businessmen. Fred insisted their German heritage be kept secret. Therefore, in Trump’s early books, he claimed his father was Swedish yet told the truth about his mother’s Scottish heritage. Today, people remember his mother and have forgotten about the Swedish lie covering Trump’s Germanic roots.
Therefore, like Jesus, Trump’s lineage is traced through his mother, not his father.
Meaning of ‘Donald’
Even more exciting for republican etymologists, “Donald” is an Anglicization of the Scottish-Gaelic version of the Celtic word Dómhnall which means “world ruler” (The “d” on the end was added by the English.)
Putting it All Together
Millions of Republicans are convinced the Donald is either their Lord and Savior or the political vicar of Christ. Imagine their glee upon learning the name Donald Trump means “World ruler & savior.”
A Virgin Birth?
As of now, parthenogenesis is off the table.
We can all be thankful to the Almighty that Trump has not yet claimed his mother was a virgin at the time of his birth.
